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Wednesday, April 30, 2003
Differences between men and women

I always shake my head when people try and claim there are no differences between men and women. People say things like, "anything a man can do, a women can do as well".

In reality, there are many differences between the sexes, and it's really silly to pretend otherwise. To offer a somewhat obvious example, Elisa is pregnant. I am not. Kind of a big difference.

Elisa can puke several times a day and carry on okay. We'll be walking down the street, she'll pull over, puke into a bush, and then carry on with little fanfare. I couldn't do that. It's pretty impressive, if somewhat unappealing.

Elisa can plan for a drug-free childbirth experience. Me, I'd be stocking up on the drugs right now. Pain is not one of my fortes.

But nothing brought home the differences than a few nights ago. Lying in bed, we had the following conversation:

Elisa: What do you think our baby will look like?

Me: How much do you think bassinets cost?

Elisa: I wonder if he'll get my curly hair?

Me: Should we get a bigger place? I think this house is too small.

Elisa: I can't wait to hold the baby!

Me: I need to make more money. Maybe I can snag some extra consulting work.

[Short pause...]

Elisa: Don't you love the baby? Why don't you want to talk about him?

Me: I thought I was!

I hate to fall back on such stereotypes, but in our case, it all fit. Elisa was focused on the "nurturing" side of parenthood, I was obsessing about the "providing" side. We were both talking about the same thing -- impending parenthood, but the gulf between us was legions wide.

That's not necessarily a bad thing -- the baby will need both nurturing and providing. And both Elisa and I will offer, in equal doses, both nurturing and providing. But in the dark, late at night, months before the baby is due, we somehow reverted to our primal roles.

After all, we're only human.

p.s. Elisa refers to the baby as a "he" since her mother's intuition suggests it will be a boy. Me, I'm hoping for a girl.

by Kos | April 30, 2003 09:08 AM