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Wednesday, April 30, 2003
Back on the wagon

Ahh, the joys of impending fatherhood. Finally, inflicted upon me again.

On November 22, my wife and I went through our toughest trial yet -- the loss of our baby to unknown causes. I'll discuss the event in some detail at a later date, but suffice it to say for now, Elisa needed time to heal, both physically and emotionally.

Me, I was ready to go right away, but in reality, it was always Elisa's call. I won't ever pretend to understand what she felt, but over time, she was ready to try again.

And it didn't take long. Just a shade over two months after the miscarriage, Elisa was pregnant again. (Fertility was never our problem.)

As soon as we found out, in mid-February, I made a dash for the computer, ready to announce to the world the happy news. But Elisa was a bit more, how shall we put it, reluctant. How do I know? I got the look. You know the one -- it stopped me dead in my tracks. She couldn't have been more effective had she smashed our computer and broken all my fingers so I couldn't type.

As she said, I had "jinxed" the baby the first time by writing about it too early. Granted, it's not the best logic in the world, but logic isn't always the driving force behind a pregnant woman's decision making process. And I mean that in the least offensive way I can muster.

So I was muzzled. Censored. Under a restraining order until we actually saw a healthy baby. Which we did yesterday.

So I'm back in the saddle, ready to impart the joys and frustrations of impending fatherhood. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's gross. But overall, it feels great!

by Kos | April 30, 2003 08:32 AM