So Elisa calls me into the bathroom. These days, that's always a scary proposition.
I approach trepidatiously, "what?" She points to her stomach, "I have my first stretch mark!"
I studied the alleged stretch mark, and yes, it appeared to be legit. It was a faint red line extending about 3 inches from her belly button. But I was still suspicious -- her belly didn't look any bigger, and could the baby really have grown that big already? Luckily, Time chimed in with a perfectly timed cover story on birth, and provided an "actual size" chart of baby growth in the first trimester. Hmmm... sure, Elisa is the size of the Lucky Charms leprichaun, but no way that 11mm-sized baby gave her a stretch mark.
30 minutes later, the "stretch mark" disappeared. Must've been a scratch. Or spaghetti sauce.
Anyway, I have been a little tough on Elisa, I know. I didn't realize it how tough she had it until I saw this:
That horrible, horrible, shitaki-mushroom-looking thing is a baby at 40 days old. Jeez, if I had one of those growing inside of me, I'd be freakin' out too! Time notes that at this point, "a human embroyo looks no different from that of a pig, chick or elephant; all have a tail, a yolk sac and rudimentary gills."
Gills??? What the heck are we giving birth to, Aquaman? At least the current baby is an improvement over this 32-day-old embroyo:
Yeah, yeah, the boxing gloves are a cute touch, but I'm not too keen on the "millipide" look. But check it out, that embryo is like the Mona Lisa -- no matter which angle you approach it, it appears the little sucker is looking right at you. It also has huge hidden fangs that drip acid. Seriously.
In case you're wondering, it's not until the early second trimester that the embroyo spins its silk cocoon, undergoes its glorious transformations, and emerges victoriously just a few days later as this beautiful creature:
As for the baby, you saw the pictures. But what you probably didn't know is that nipples are starting to form today (for both sexes). The baby's kidney is starting to produce urine, so not only is she eating for two, but she is also peeing for two (as if she needed any more help in that department!).
Elisa's weight: 119 lbs
Elisa's waist: 31"