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Tuesday, October 29, 2002
Day: 34: the bionic nose; names

Today, our baby's legs resemble paddles. I guess we're back to that lame "flipper" joke I used yesterday...

While Elisa isn't suffering from major pregnancy related symptoms, she has developed a bionic nose. Everything bothers her, and if the smell is too raunchy, it does make her gag. I'm thinking of offering her up to the UN. She can be sent to Iraq to sniff out chemical weapon dumps. If she starts retching, they can send the bombers in.


On the right-hand column you will see two names. If we have a girl, we will name her Elisandra Elexy. If we have a boy, Aristotle Alberto. Out of the dozens of people who have heard the names, perhaps three of them like the name "Aristotle". My mother hates it. Elisa tolerates it.

But I don't care, because I LOVE it. It plays off my Greek heritage, my love of philosophy (one of my college majors), and my desire to give my child a unique name. Some argue that he'll get beat up. But he'll be known as "Ari", a thoroughly benign name. And as far as names go, "Artistotle" has very few rhyming words that can be used as taunts. My friend NP suggested "baby bottle Aristotle", which was clever. But think of all the cool nicknames the name can inspire, like another NP invention: "full throttle Aristotle". Some argue the name would be grossly out of place if the kid is stupid, but being the optimist I am, I plan on fathering a genius. And if he is stupid, then he'll have worse things to worry about than his name.

One last benefit to the name: if he ever becomes a famous baseball player, artist, actor, or musician, he can be a one-name wonder. Like Ichiro. Or Madonna. Or Yanni. Though if he comes out anything like Yanni just shoot me now! I couldn't stand the shame of subjecting the world to another hideous monster like Yanni.

by Kos | October 29, 2002 09:58 PM