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Tuesday, November 12, 2002
Day 48: babies are expensive

This may come as a shock to most of you, but babies are expensive. Yeah -- that realization took us by surprise too.

Our sudden bout of buyer's remorse struck as we started to plan for daycare. In a perfect world, Elisa could stay home full-time and take care of the baby. In a perfect world, the Cubs would be perpetual World Series champions. So in other words, this is the anti-perfect world. Need more evidence? Here it is: The New York Yankees and George Bush (both of them). And Texas. 'Nuff said.

Plans are for Elisa to take the full 90 days of family leave allowed under the law, but we will eventually need the two incomes. Daycares are obscenely expensive -- up to $1,000/month. We can try and cut costs by working staggered shifts (Elisa in the morning, me in the afternoon), but if I didn't want to see Elisa I could think of far less traumatic ways to accomplish the goal without staggering home from work at 9 p.m. And I'm convinced that catching up on the day's events over a 2 a.m. diaper change will not be good for our marriage.

So, we'll probably have to see if Elisa can cut her hours and work our schedules so we only need baby supervision for four or five hours a day.

We are also considering a nanny for the aforementioned four or five hours a day. While still obscenely expensive (for our budget, anyway), at least a nanny could help with the cleaning, laundry and cooking. And I could install nanny-cams all over the house to obsessively monitor her and my baby's every move.

Our nanny would carry an umbrella to flit to and fro and provide a positive educational experience by teaching our newborn to spell the basics, like "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (A word, by the way, that does not refer to Irish whores.) Also, she most definitely would not bear an uncanny resemblance to Fran Drescher.

Regardless what path we decide to take, we're doomed to that eternal hell called parenthood. I want a new guitar, but oh, the kid needs medicine. I want a new DVD recorder, but oh my gosh, the kid needs food. I want an Audi TT convertible, but darn it, the kid needs water. Thank god oxygen is free (unless you're stupid), cause you know the baby will eventually demand some of that stuff too!

This baby better be so friggin' cute...


The tongue is starting to develop, while the eye is almost complete. The eyes are currently at the side of the head, like a bird's ("Tweety?"). With luck, those eyes will migrate to the front of the head. Speaking of migration, the intestines are starting to migrate from the umbilical chord to the baby itself. The baby is now about 18mm in length.

by Kos | November 12, 2002 11:05 PM